The Final Showdown
by cifan
Summary: My version of how it all plays out in the end for Goren and Eames. BA.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, I thought I'd throw my hat into the fray. Here is my take on how their last epi's go down.  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. If I did, you really think I'd be writing an ****ending****?!**

--

Goren doesn't even realize his foot is tapping wildly as he sits and waits to see the Chief of Detectives. He's too busy to notice because he's stuck in his thoughts, going over the events that brought him to this point.

Moran's secretary glances up at him from time to time. She's witnessed this scene numerous times. The cops that come and sit in her office while they wait to speak to the chief all share one thing in common, they're scared. Detective Robert Goren is no different.

She's seen him around long enough to know that he normally doesn't get nervous, or at the very least he doesn't let it show. But he sure as hell is now. She feels for him because she knows why he's there, everyone does. She wants to tell him that the waiting is the worst part and that once he goes inside it won't be so bad. A lot of times, and for a lot of other detectives that is true, but she knows that in this case, it would be a lie so she remains quiet.

The buzzing of the secretary's phone pulls Bobby from his thoughts. He watches her as she picks up the phone, glances at him, then solemnly hangs it up. She gets up and smooths out her skirt. "Chief Moran will see you know, Detective."

Bobby stands up straight and follows her. She opens the door, lets him pass by, then quietly closes the door behind him.

--

Bobby sees Moran at his desk, he's writing something and doesn't acknowledge his detective's presence. Bobby knows the chief is fucking with him, making him sweat it out until he's ready to speak to him. He knows it, but he also knows that he has to stand there and take it.

Finally, Moran looks up and just stares at Bobby. He feels a line of sweat form across his forehead and he silently curses himself for it. He does his best to not wipe it, but once a bead slowly begins to run down his temple he reaches up to stop it's progress. Moran smiles.

"Let's get right to this, Goren. I've interviewed the officers that were with you to execute the arrest warrant. I am completely confident that you acted properly throughout the entire incident."

Bobby relaxes a little but feels a little confused by the chief's sly demeanor. "Thank you, sir."

Moran holds a paper up to Bobby. "Read this over, and if you're in agreement, you should sign it and we're done."

Bobby sighs and steps closer to the desk. He sits down, picks up the paper and reads it. It all looked in order, Moran had filled out a statement saying the Bobby had followed all the police procedures correctly during the shooting that took place two nights prior. After he reads it entirely, he pulls a pen out of his pocket and signs the document.

Moran smiles again and leans back as Bobby spins the paper back toward his chief.

"Too bad for Eames, though."

Suddenly, Bobby feels like he's been kicked in the gut. "Excuse me, Chief?"

Moran rocks lightly in his chair. "Yeah, I certainly can't write one of these for her."

"What do you mean by that, sir?" His head is cocked to one side as he tries to hide his building fury.

"By all accounts, your partner acted improperly."

"She did no such thing! Besides, you didn't even ask me what happened!"

"I don't need your testimony. I have eye witness statements that tell me she knowingly shot an unarmed man."

Bobby stands up. "That's bullshit and you know it! It was dark out, and the guy suddenly appeared in the doorway as we passed. He yelled for us to turn and we did. As we stood there, he reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun! She shot him because he began to yell about finally being able to take revenge on the NYPD as he raised his piece."

Moran slowly shakes his head and speaks very matter of factly. "Not according the officers at the scene. They said there wasn't a gun."

"He had a fucking gun!"

"You're out of line, Detective. And you better leave now because your partner - or should I say your soon to be ex-partner - is due here any minute."

By now, Bobby's beside himself. His eyes widen and he shouts, "Chief Moran! Why are you doing this to her?! She's a great cop, she doesn't deserve this!"

Moran gets up and leans against the window sill behind him and stares at Goren. He calmly speaks, "It seems to me we have a situation here, Goren."

That's when Bobby get's it. This has had nothing to do with Eames and everything to do with him. This whole exercise is a way to get him out of the NYPD. Moran was just waiting for the right time to do it and he's finally found a situation to use again Goren.

But in a split second, Bobby knows what he going to have to do. "Chief…how can I make this go away for Eames?"

The two men eye each other up; both aware of exactly what's to come.

Moran moves back to his desk and sits down. He pulls his chair closer to his desk and rests his elbows on it. "I think we can come up with something."

Bobby wants to scream, _You goddamned fucking bastard!_, but he knows he can't. Instead, he says, "Tell me what you want." Knowing full well what the chief wants from him…his badge.

Moran opens his side desk drawer and pulls out a piece of paper. "You sign this, and it all goes away for her." He slides it toward Bobby.

Bobby picks it up and reads it. It's his resignation. He immediately stands up and begins pacing. He knows Moran has him by the balls. He knows he has to do this for her.

He rereads it, then sits back down and pulls his chair close to the desk. "I need to know Eames is cleared of any wrong doing before I sign this."

With that, Moran pulls out another paper and hands it to Bobby. "I'll sign this when you sign that." Bobby reads it and sees that it is a document that clears Eames of any wrong doing in the incident.

Bobby's seething, but he tries to hide his hatred and disgust for his chief. He knows he has to appear calm, he doesn't want Moran to know he go to him. "Fine, but two things…I need copies of both letters, and I don't want you to tell her until tomorrow."

"Fine by me." Moran sneered.

Bobby signs his resignation then watches Moran sign the document that clears Eames. They both make their way to the copy machine. Once both copies are in Bobby's hand, he's out the door.

--

**Tbc…**


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: I should mention that although there are rumors of someone's demise during the last G/E episodes, I'm not using that in this story. I refuse to believe that Goren or Eames will be killed off. **

--

Alex arrives at Moran's office for her meeting and she can immediately tell that something is very wrong. She knows the reason she's there is serious; she knows she's there because she shot someone, but she notices right away that his secretary won't make eye contact with her and it puts her on guard. She decides not to sit, instead she paces and can't help but think that she must look a lot like Bobby just a short time before.

The secretary sees her into the chief's office and closes the door. Moran indicates that she should sit in the chair in front of his desk and she approaches it reluctantly. Once she sits down, she tightens her lips and looks up at her chief.

"So, Eames, I brought you here to tell you that you've been cleared in the shooting."

For a moment, she doesn't think she's heard him correctly so she sits still and gives him a quizzical look.

He nods his head and his lips pull into a fake smile.

They look at each other for a few more minutes and then he speaks, "Here is the formal investigation, you can look it over." He slides her the report. "As you can see, after a full investigation, the shooting has been deemed righteous." Then he opens his side desk drawer and pulls out it's contents. "Here's your gun and badge…welcome back." He extends his hand to her and her immediate instinct is to not shake it. She stares at his outreached hand and gives in to the guilt she was then feeling and quickly shakes his hand.

"Thank you, Chief," is all she can manage.

They nod at each other as she picks her gun and badge up off the desk. She walks out without another word.

--

Alex makes her way to the eleventh floor but doesn't see Bobby at his desk. She quickly scans the squad room, even Ross' office, but doesn't see her partner or her captain. She figures he's tucked himself away in a conference room to do some research on a case so she sits down and starts on some research of her own.

A couple of hours go by with still no sign of Goren. Alex tries his cell phone but he doesn't answer. Another hour goes by, and she starts to get concerned when she sees Ross come back and walk to his office without looking at her. Her gut tells her something is wrong, so she gets up and follows him.

"Can I help you, Detective?" He seems upset to see her.

"Do you know where Goren went?"

Their eyes lock. "Close the door, Eames."

She pushes it closed and moves closer to his desk but remains standing, "Is something wrong with Goren, Captain?"

"Maybe you should sit down."

"Maybe you should tell me what's going on." She's getting very pissed off.

Ross sits down and tries to appear calm. "Eames, there's no easy way to tell you this. Goren turned in his resignation."

Her jaw drops and her eyes widen. "What?!"

"Moran just told me." He truly looks remorseful. "He said it was effective immediately."

Alex turns and looks out at Goren's desk then looks back at Ross, still in disbelief. "Are you telling me he's gone?! Just…gone?!"

He sees how upset she is and he feels awful. "Eames, I'm sorry… I just learned about this myself. And in fact…for some reason the chief had asked me not to tell you until tomorrow, but I couldn't do that."

She's so pissed she can't even see straight. "SAVE IT!" She storms out of his office, grabs her bag and heads for the elevators.

--

"Bobby, it's me…open up!" She pounds on his door. After only a minute, she uses her key and let's herself in.

Her first steps into his apartment let her know he's gone. She can feel it.

She falls onto the couch and cries.

--

She doesn't realize she fell asleep, so when she wakes up and it's pitch black out she briefly panics. She sits up and switches on his lamp. _His lamp. Bobby_…

She calls his cell phone again. He still doesn't answer and she's not one bit surprised. She thinks about her meeting with Moran and her head spins. She knows Bobby's sudden resignation has everything to do with the shooting incident. But she doesn't get why he did it seeing that he didn't even let off a round. She shakes her head and closes her eyes.

_Mike_, she thinks. Logan will know what's going on. She calls his cell but it goes right to voice mail. She lays back down on the couch and thinks about her partner.

_What did you do this time, Bobby?_ She can't seem to get herself to leave his apartment. She decides to stay, hoping come back but knowing he won't. She finds a bite to eat before changing into one of his t-shirts and climbing into his bed. She can smell him on his pillowcase and she can feel his presence surrounding her as she wraps herself in his sheets and blankets. Her mind won't let her fall back to sleep, all she can do is think about her partner and how desperate she feels for him to walk through his door. She tries his phone one more time and leaves a voice mail this time. She pleads for him to call her back. She hangs up and cries again because she knows he won't.

The next morning she calls in sick to work, then goes to find Mike Logan.

--

"Eames…what can I do for you?" He leans against his door frame, eyeing her up tentatively. She had to hand it to him, he was really good at faking innocence.

She gives her head a little shake, "Cut the crap, Mike. Tell me where he is." Her bangs fall across one eye and she quickly attempts to tuck them back around her ear. Her lips are pulled in a tight line.

"Look…Eames…I promised him I wouldn't. So…"

She looks at him incredulously. "So…that's it? You're just not gonna tell me?" She can't help the tears that fill her eyes.

His heart goes out to her. He doesn't think it's fair to do to her either, but a promise is a promise. He sighs deeply. "I'm sorry."

She looks down the hallway, then back at him. "Can you at least tell me why?" Her voice cracks. He hears the defeat in her voice and his stabs at his chest.

He stares at her for a minute, trying to decide if sharing 'why' with her would be breaking his word to his friend. Then he looks back at the woman standing in front of him. The woman who has been the only person in Goren's life to believe in him, and to stand by him no matter what. He thinks about all the crap she's dealt with; all the comments from other cops, all the hassles from the brass, and all of Bobby's bullshit that she's put up with over the years. And still, after all of that, she's standing in front of him with tears in her eyes, begging to see her partner.

He rubs his forehead then nods to himself, "C'mon in, Eames. Let's talk."

--

**Tbc…**


	3. Chapter 3

--

Alex follows Mike into his apartment and doesn't try to hide her disgust at its condition. She tiptoes around articles of clothing and newspapers as she makes her way towards what appears to be his living room. He sweeps the couch clean of debris then indicates that she should sit down. On a normal day, she wouldn't consider sitting on it, but this isn't a normal day and she's too tired to stand, so she tentatively sits down at one end and he takes the other.

They turn toward each other and she waits for him to start.

"So apparently, Goren was called into Moran's office, and the chief told him he was cleared in the shooting."

Alex nods, "That's right! He should have been cleared, he didn't do anything wrong."

"Right. You know that, I know that…and he knows that, too."

She practically shouts at him. "Then what's the problem?"

He tries to console her. "Eames…I know how hard this is for you."

"How?! HOW can you know what this is like for me?! Mike…" The rest of her words get stuck in her throat and she hangs her head low. She knows he doesn't deserve her anger. "I'm sorry, Mike."

He briefly touches her arm. ''No problem, Eames…let me know when you're ready to go on because you're not gonna like what you're about to hear."

After a moment, she lifts her head and nods at him.

He decides that like taking off a band aid, he's better off blurting it all out. He's hoping it will be less painful for him to say and for her to hear. "So no sooner does Moran tell Goren that he's cleared then he say's that he has eyewitness statements swearing to the fact that the guy didn't have a gun…that you shot an unarmed man…and he's going to hang you out to dry."

He's intently watching her and he can't stand the look on her face. He had anticipated more anger from her than he's ever seen. But instead, her anger turns to astonishment, and then to shock. As he studies her he notices the stoic mask she always wears has been stripped away and that he's seeing her vulnerable for the very first time.

Instead of strength he sees softness, and instead of poise he sees pain, and he feels inexplicably drawn to her like he's never been before. He finds himself wondering how long it took Goren to discover this side of Eames, and he suddenly can't imagine how his friend has been able to resist her for all of these years. After a few moments of studying her in a way he knows he shouldn't be, he forces himself to refocus.

He thinks about what she must be going through as he waits for her to say something. He knows she needs time to really digest everything he just told her, he wishes there was more he could do to help her. She blinks a little then looks at Mike as tears roll down her cheeks.

"Eames, I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you about what happened."

"No…don't be sorry. I just wish he was telling me all of this instead of you." She wipes her tears away as she tries to recover from what he told her. Then her mouth drops open and she covers it with her hand and looks at Mike with wide eyes. "He isn't coming back at all, is he, Mike?"

Softly, he answers her as he fights the urge to touch her again. "No."

She drops her hand to her leg, "What did he say to you, exactly?"

He sighs. "He just told me he doesn't know what his plans are but he'll find something. And that…"

"What, Mike?"

"And that if you were to ask me where he was, that I should tell you to let him go…that you should forget him move on."

She shook her head and gave a small fake laugh, "Move on…" He watches her closely; he can see just how much she cares about his friend. "He expects me to just…move on!" Her anger is back.

She makes her way to his door and opens it up. When she turns around her eyes are burning with fury. "Clean this place up, Mike! You live like a fucking pig."

She slams the door and Mike can't help but smile. Eames is back. "That's my girl."

--

Her next move is surprisingly easy for her. She heads to One PP, envelope in hand.

"Eames, I thought you were sick." Ross is sitting at his desk, looking at her with a wary look on his face. He knows she's not here to work and he can see by the set of her jaw that she is not happy.

"I wanted you to know that I just handed in my resignation."

"Shit." He mutters as he leans his elbows on the desk and rubs his eyes. He knows there's not point in asking why. After she left the day before, he went to see the chief, and Moran confided in him in on why Goren resigned as quickly as he did.

Ross stands up, pushes in his chair then rests his hands on the back of it. "I was afraid you were going to do this, Eames."

"So you know what really happened…what Moran did to Goren."

"Yes, I went to see him after you left yesterday."

She tilts her head and slightly shrugs her shoulders. "And you're okay with that?"

Ross can't help but think how much her mannerisms are reminding him of her partners. "No, I'm not okay with that, Eames. But there was nothing I could do."

"Well…there was something I couldn't do…and that was to keep working for that ass. So, I'm done."

"Maybe…" He stops himself before he can give her the opportunity to explode. He was going to suggest she might think differently, and maybe even regret her resignation once she gives it time. But in truth, he knows there's no way that will happen. She's too connected to Goren.

He switches courses. "How is he doing?"

She straightens her back and purses her lips before she answers him. She's not going to tell him the truth because she knows Moran will find out. "He's fine. He's fine and I'm fine…and that's all you need to know. I'm going to get my things so I can get out of here."

She turns to walk away but he calls her back. "Detective."

"It's just Eames, now."

"Fine…Eames…Goren left all of his things in his desk. I can ask Jeffries to pack everything up if you'd like."

"No. No one touches his things but me."

He's frustrated by her stubborness. "Fine…have it your way." He shakes his head and lets her go.

After she packs up the contents of both desks and puts everything in her car, she comes back up to Major Case one last time.

She had one more thing to say to Ross. She walked into his office without knocking and left the door open, hoping everyone in the squad room would hear her.

"Eames?"

"You know, captain… you can save your 'I feel bad for Goren' crap. I'm not buying it. You've had a chip on your shoulder when it came to him ever since the first day you got here. You never gave him a chance, and that was really shitty of you to do because he didn't deserve that. He was a great cop, and you never treated him like one, and you never let him know that. Not once. And that was not fair to do to him."

It doesn't take him long to nod his head. "You're right, Eames. I'm sorry about that."

"And you should be! You've lost two detectives because you and Moran couldn't see that although he was unorthodox, Goren was a great cop. The NYPD became a little less effective all because you and Moran had an agenda against him." She went to leave then turned back, "You know…you shouldn't apologize to me, you should be apologizing to Goren, and to the citizens of New York City…because they've lost a great protector of their rights and of their security… all because of office politics."

Feeling satisfied that she got her message across, she walks out without saying goodbye to anyone.

--

The next day she goes back to Mike's apartment. He lets her in and she's pleasantly surprised that he took her advice and cleaned up a little.

"So I see you just needed a good kick in the ass to get yourself cleaned up in here." She says as she walks slowly through to the living room, assessing its condition with her hands stuffed into her coat pockets.

He can tell her demeanor is somewhat lighter than it was when she visited the day before. Jeffries had called him and told him what went down in the office so he figured that was the reason behind her calmer appearance.

"Can I take your coat, Eames?"

She turns back to him and shakes her head but remains standing. "I'm assuming you heard what happened yesterday?"

Logan smiles and nods his head, "Sounds like you set Ross straight…good for you."

No longer in the mood for small talk, she suddenly becomes very serious. "I need to talk to him, Mike. I need to see him."

He decides he's going to be just as serious, and just a direct with her. "Unfortunately, he doesn't feel the same way. He's made it perfectly clear that he wants to be left alone, Eames."

Her blood begins to boil when she hears his reply. "Well that's not good enough for me, Mike. He needs to know he can't just dismiss me like this."

He blinks his eyes and gives his head a quick shake, "Sorry, doll, but it's gonna have to be good enough for you. He's not coming back, and that's all there is to it so get used to it."

She knew she remained standing for a reason. She quickly walked back over to Logan and got right in his face. "Tell him something for me, Mike. Tell him that in all these that we've been partners, I've always known him to be caring, kind, trustworthy, and someone I could depend on. But, I never knew he could also be a coward. That's what he is right now…a coward."

"Eames, he thinks he's doing the best thing here."

"Well, he's not!" Her words are laced with venom.

"He just wants you to let him go. For everything to settle down in your life and for you to be happy." She wants to scream, _How can I be happy with him missing from my life?_

She shakes her head, "So that's it? That's all I'm gonna get...just a message…delivered by you…not by him?"

"Yes."

She straightens her back with defiance but her tears are back, exposing her vulnerability again. "Well…" Her words escape through clenched teeth, "You tell him that I don't accept his message. And you tell him that I deserve more than that from him. And I expect more than that from him."

He rests his hands on her shoulders, "I'll tell him what you said, but I don't think it's gonna change a thing."

She shrugs his hands off of her. "Just tell him everything that I said."

"How did I get myself in the middle of this?" He grumbles as she slams the door again.

Then he moves to his window and waits to make sure she's driven away before he calls his friend.

--

**Tbc...**


	4. Chapter 4

--

Dawn is just starting to break; daylight is slowly creeping into her room. She rolls over in bed and begins to readjust her pillow when she sees him. He's calmly watching her from a chair he's pulled over right next to the bed.

_**Where the hell have you been? How did you get in here without me hearing you? How long have you been here? Why haven't you called me?!**_ She has so many questions for him, but she doesn't ask any of them. Instead they're silent as their eyes lock. Hers are filled with anger, his with sadness.

It takes every ounce of control to set aside her anger and frustration. She's got him where she wants him and she doesn't want to do anything that will scare him off. Turning onto her side, she wraps her arms around her pillow as she takes a deep breath and slowly exhales.

"Hey." Her voice is a gentle whisper and still filled with sleep. His heart begins to pound because it's not anger that he hears in her voice, it's something else, something warm and inviting.

"Hey." He replies back. He's trying to get her to start their conversation; he wants to see what's most on her mind. He slips off his brown suede jacket and drapes it around the back of his chair.

"I'm not surprised to see you here."

"Oh, no?" He's a little amused by her admission, but he keeps a straight face. He doesn't want her to know that.

"No, I figured I said enough to Mike to guilt you into finding me, I'm just not sure of exactly what it was that made you show up."

He's watching her carefully, and the look in his eyes is intriguing her. She's never seen him look at her like that, but she's seen him eye other woman the same way. She knows she has more on her mind than getting to the bottom of what happened with work, and now she suspects he does to.

She adjusts her legs a bit to see if he'd care and she's happy to see that he does. His eyes travel down her body and then follow her hip as she moves her legs, admiring how it looks with the thin blanket showing off the curve of her waist. Something stirs inside of him and he knows he should look away but he finds that he just can't.

The room is a little brighter, and she's happy about that because she can clearly see that his eyes are no longer meeting hers, that he's studying the rest of her. She quietly waits for him. His eyes fall to half-mast and his lips part slightly as he becomes transfixed by the outline of her body. When he reaches her bare arms and then sees that her hands are buried under her pillow, his eyes rise up and meet hers again. Then she watches him adjust in his seat as he huffs out a breath.

"I'm not a coward."

"Prove it."

"How can I do that?"

She rises up onto her elbow, allowing the blanket and sheet to slide down around her waist, exposing her white tank top and bare shoulders; her hair, much longer than he realized, falls against her arm. There is a moment he feels his heart stops as she leans closer to him and gently kisses his lips.

Her kiss set him on fire but he knows he can't become unfocused. He's only there to set things straight, nothing can come in the way of that. Not even her.

He pretends she isn't inches from his face and gets to the reason he's there, "Eames…you need to rescind your resignation…you need to get your job back."

She lies back down on the bed, resting on her side. The blanket it still around her waist.

"Bobby, I'm not doing anything until you tell me what the hell you're up to."

"I'm not up to anything. I retired and I think it's a really bad idea for you to do the same."

"I'm not buying it," She inches forward a little while still lying down, "Tell me what happened…I deserve to know." The tone in her voice lets him know he better come clean.

"Moran basically gave me an ultimatum…me or you. I chose me. There is no reason for you to ruin your career just because that asshole had it out for me…I've already held you back enough."

She shakes her head, "It's all so wrong, Bobby. You didn't deserve to have this happen to you."

He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath, "At this point, none of that matters…all that matters now is that you should not resign."

"Why is that so important to you?"

He leans toward her, resting his elbows on his knees, "I've done enough damage to you and your career already... and while I sat in Moran's office, it all became clear to me. I'm your albatross, Eames, and you need to be free of me once and for all."

She looked frustrated, "So you just expect me to forget you? Forget what you mean to me?"

"I shouldn't mean anything to you, Eames, I don't deserve that."

She quickly rises up again. She winds one hand around the back of his neck and pulls him towards her. She kisses him again, this time with more urgency. He tries to push her away so she breaks away from him, "Don't try to tell me what you should or shouldn't mean to me." When she kisses him again he can't help but respond to her kiss. He leans into it and kisses her right back.

He raises he hand and runs his fingers through her hair. When they pull back from each other he says, "This isn't right, Eames," and he leans back in his chair.

She falls onto the bed, on her back, and puts her hands behind her head. "So I was right…you are a coward."

He sees the challenge in her eyes as she licks her lips and waits for his response. He can't help but notice that her nipples are erect and very visible through her thin shirt, and he's suddenly dying to know what else she's wearing under those covers. Even still, he's frozen in his seat, unable to accept the fact that she's no longer off limits to him.

She sees he's mentally struggling with himself, so she decides to push him a little, "What seems to be the problem, Bobby?"

"Eames…it's just…"

"You mean to tell me you've never wondered…you've never imagined what we'd be like together?"

"No…I mean yes…Of course I have." She has him completely flustered.

"Well there's nothing holding us back now."

"I – I know."

"So then what's the problem?"

"Eames…Alex…this isn't gonna help anything…it's only gonna make it worse."

"Because you're still leaving."

"Yes, because I'm still leaving."

She rises up again as she did before. She leans her forehead against his and whispers, "Bobby, I know that you're leaving…and despite that, I won't regret this. I'll regret it more if you walk out of my house, and out of my life, without knowing what it would be like to make love to you."

"Alex." Her name rushes out of him, pleading with her to stop.

Undeterred, Alex kisses him gently, then dips her head so they make eye contact. "Make love to me, Bobby. This is the last thing I'll ever ask of you."

She pulls her head away from his and lies back down. No sooner does her head hit the pillow then he is on top of her. He kisses her neck as he pushes the sheet and blanket off of her, then he puts his hands on either side of her face as he kisses her hard. Feeling her immediately open her mouth to him unleashes an intense desire from deep within him. A desire for her that he's kept locked away for all these years. Finally able to succumb to it, and coupled with her response to his kiss, he feels completely overwhelmed and then he becomes uncertain if this is the right thing for them to be doing.

He rolls off of her and catches his breath. She feels his hesitation, and knows he's doing a lot more than trying to recoup oxygen, so she climbs on top of him and begins to kiss his neck and the soft skin under his ears as she unbuttons is shirt. Instead of resisting her as he feels he should, he gives in to her again. This time, he lets himself let go, and enjoys the feel of her kissing and undressing him. As she unbuttons his shirt, she trails her tongue down his chest, humming with pleasure as she gets him to cooperate with the final removal of his shirt. Still straddling him, she smiles as she sits up and looks at him. "Relax...and just enjoy this," She says in a hushed voice as she runs her hands up and down his chest and abdomen, visibly admiring how he looks and feels.

As she's discovering his body, he takes her advice and decides it's his turn to discover more of her. He slips his hands under her shirt and runs them up to her breasts. A moment later, he pulls her shirt over her head, exposing her to him. He smiles at her and covers her breasts with his hands once again. She closes her eyes and moans at his touch, the sound she makes ignites a fire within him, making him painfully hard for her.

"Alex…I want you."

She nods her head as she lifts her hips off of his waist so she can work on his belt. He puts his hands on her shoulders to slow her down. "Not like that…I can wait…I wanna take my time with you."

His words melt her. "Oh, Bobby…" She bends herself over his torso and gives him a scorching kiss.

As they kiss, he runs his hands down her back and across pink satin shorts, enjoying the smoothness of them and the fact that there's no panty line to feel. "You've got a great ass, Alex…I've always loved it." His voice is just above a whisper and she notices that it's filled with hunger and anticipation.

"Keep touching it." She says before she begins an assault on his neck.

"I'll come back to it…I need to feel the rest of you." With those words, he puts one hand on her waist and the other behind her head as he effortlessly guides her onto her back. Resting along side of her while propped up on his elbow, he touches her cheek, "That's better," he says before he gently kisses her.

After their kiss, he begins to explore her neck and her chest with his mouth. As he's doing that, one of his hands is roaming around her belly; feeling the contrast between her taut muscles and the one soft spot that is the only sign she had once given birth. His mouth joins his hand and he hears her sigh as he kisses his way around her stomach.

She runs her hands through his hair. It's cut short, but it's still unruly with curls that are no longer pure black. With his gray stubble and graying hair, she thinks he's sexier now than he's ever been. "Bobby." She says his name simply because she wants to hear herself say it as he's loving her. She knows that after this, she'll never have the chance again.

He skips over her shorts and moves his attention to her legs. He runs his hand up and down one leg, slowly and firmly pressing his fingers over every inch of it. When he reaches her foot, he massages it and then takes the time to touch and study each toe. Before he moves on, he bends and leaves a small kiss on the top her foot, and then her ankle. She's never liked anyone to touch her feet, but what he did felt so good that she finds herself looking forward to him doing the same things to her other foot.

He then lifts up her knee and explores the back of her calf and then her thigh. She smiles at herself as she feels him touching every inch of her leg, because she often wondered how his tactile tendencies at work would translate in the bedroom; now she knew.

"What's so funny?" She gets pulled from her thoughts by his question and she finds him smiling back at her. "Please don't tell me that something I'm doing is making you laugh."

She decides to keep her thoughts to herself; she doesn't want to bring up work or anything else that doesn't involve where they are and what they're doing. She keeps smiling at him, "I'm just a little ticklish there, I guess."

He nods, "Good to know, I'll be more careful with your other leg."

She laughs a throaty laugh and he stops what he's doing to watch and listen. He's never heard her sound like this before, and he never wants to forget it.

"You okay?" She asks but she thinks she knows what he's doing because she's been cataloging every touch and every kiss of his, too.

"Yeah, it's just…I don't want to forget this."

She's surprised by his honesty. It catches her off guard and she does her best to fight back tears. "Me, too." She whispers as she closes her eyes and swallows her heartache back down.

Sensing her sudden melancholy, he tries to get her to refocus. "So then don't distract me…I'm not nearly finished with you." His words send a surge of warmth through her body and she can feel herself get even more aroused.

"Mmmm," is all she can say and he smiles to himself because he knows what he said did the trick.

--

**Tbc…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Things of the M nature happen here…**

--

He finishes his exploration of her other leg and then turns his attention to her shorts. He runs his fingers over the satin, making sure to pass over her clit and her folds. She squirms her approval and he feels his cock throb for her. He knows she wants him just as badly as he wants her.

"These are nice, Alex." He smiles wickedly up at her.

"Thank you, Bobby." She purrs.

"Tell me," he starts. He still has his hand outside of her shorts, and he barely uses any pressure to draw circles around her clit. "Do you always dress this sexy when you sleep, or were you expecting someone?"

She shakes her head at him, "Only you would try to assign a motive to my choice in clothing."

He laughs a little, "Don't try to change the subject here, Eames. I think it's a valid question."

She laughs back and gives him her best look of seduction, "If I wear anything to bed, this is what it usually is."

He growls at her response and then sneaks one of his fingers inside her shorts and slowly buries it inside of her. She catches her breath and then groans when he quickly slides it back out.

"Alex, I know you're teasing me, but the thought of you sleeping naked…" He was going to say, 'will haunt me for the rest of my life', but he stops. He doesn't want to go to that sadness. It's going to come too soon; he wants to stay in the moment.

She rises up, gives him a kiss, and then lies back down. "You were saying?"

He watches her settle back again then looks back down at her shorts, "I do like these…but it's time that they come off." With that, he gets on his knees and slides the shorts off of her.

Still on his knees, he uses both hands to spread her legs. He moves between them, and like a tiger stalking it's prey, he starts at her ankles and slowly kisses and licks his way up her legs, keeping as much eye contact with her as he can.

The sensation of his soft lips and tongue followed by the roughness of his five-o-clock shadow, and coupled with the anticipation of him reaching his obvious intended mark, is almost more than she can take. "Oh my God, Bobby…this feels so damn good."

He loves the urgency in her voice. "You think this feels good…just you wait." Another wave of desire makes her head spin.

He finally reaches her center, and she raises her knees so her legs are now bent as he proceeds to explore her with his tongue and fingers. He takes his time, alternating pressure and depth. He hears her becoming breathless, and when she moans or groans he takes it as encouragement to continue what ever he's doing. Then he feels her begin to writhe around and he knows he's got her almost there. "Bobby!" She shouts out as she grips the sheet. He looks up at her, "Hold still, baby." He teases, thoroughly enjoying the state he's put her in. It doesn't take long before she feels her orgasm about to take over. He feels it too, and he looks up. "I can't wait to really taste you, Alex." Then he rolls his tongue around inside of her and he touches her clit. He feels her legs begin to shake and she raises her hips in ecstasy. She closes her eyes and lets the feeling wash over her. "Oh fuck…Bobby…shit!"

When she opens her eyes, he's lying along side her again, watching her with what seems to be an amazed look on his face. She can tell he's trying to hide a proud smile. "Don't try to hide it…you should be proud, Bobby…that was incredible."

He bends and kisses her tenderly. Then he whispers, "You're incredible, Alex…I loved watching you just now."

She turns toward him and runs her fingers along his jaw. Stopping at his chin, she gives it a little tap then kisses him back. Her kiss is passionate, and as they kiss, her hand snakes down between them and she runs it along the bulge in his jeans; letting him know they're not done yet.

He moans in her mouth as she pushes him onto his back. Then she kneels along side of him as she removes his belt and undoes his jeans. He begins to help her but she stops him, "No, no…let me do this for you." He lies back and puts his hands behind his back as he watches her pull his pants off of him. She has to stand at the foot of the bed to get them all the way off, and when she does she tosses them onto the floor and then crawls back onto the bed, now focusing on his boxers. "Now these."

She has him going crazy for her as he watches her remove his boxers. He's afraid that he won't be able to control himself if she uses her mouth on him; if she does, he can't let her for too long because he wants to be inside of her when he comes. Then a thought crosses his mind, "Alex…do you have a condom?"

She nods at him as she gets closer and closer to him. "I've got it covered…just relax." She kneels along side of him again and looks at him, "You're a beautiful man, Bobby Goren." Their eyes meet briefly and she smiles at him, and then she focuses on his cock again.

He forgets all about the condom as she takes a hold of him with her hand and rubs him a little before sliding him into her mouth. "Jesus, Alex." He pants out as he watches her head bob up and down while one of her little hands is wrapped around the base of him and the other massages his balls. As he expected, he's unable to take too much of her doing this. He doesn't want to leave her bed without being inside of her, and if she keeps doing what she's doing, he's afraid he's going to miss that chance.

He takes his hand and runs it through her hair to get her attention. When she pauses to see what he wants he quickly spins her over and puts her on her back.

"I want more of you," he kisses lips then moves his mouth to her ear, "I want all of you, Alex." He hears her moan, then, "Bobby that's what I want, too."

When they're face to face again, he asks, "Where's that condom?"

"I'm on the pill, Bobby."

She feels his hesitation but she's ready for it. She was expecting it. She surprises him with her strength as she pushes him off of her and onto his back. Then, as quickly as she can, she straddles him, takes a hold of his cock with one hand and lowers herself onto him.

"Alex!" He groans and shouts all at the same time.

She places her hands on the bed, just above his shoulders. Hovering over him, she gives him a victorious look, "Now that that's settled…" Then she begins to ride him.

Once again, he gives into her and he can't help but think that he could spend the rest of his life giving into her and that he'd be alright with that.

After a minute, he slides his hands down the side of her and grips her waist, stopping her movement. "You've proved your point, but can we now do this my way?" She hears contentment and amusement in his voice.

"Sure…what do you have in mind?" She's being playful and he loves it.

"This." He lifts her up and off of him, then guides her onto her back and covers her with his large frame. "I want our bodies close like this…okay?" His tender tone weakens her.

"More than okay."

Then Bobby looks right into her eyes as he tenderly guides himself back inside of her. "Bobby," She can't help but say again. "My God, Alex," He replies. They remain that way for a few moments, and then he begins to move in and out of her. He starts off slowly, and he becomes very quiet as he tries to imprint everything about her into his memory. He never wants to forget how her skin feels as he moves against it, how her hair lays softly around her, how she sounds as she breathes into his neck, and how she smells of both her sheets and their sex. He knows when they're done, this is all he'll have left of her.

She senses the change in his demeanor and she knows she's had a change in hers, too. The end is near. As much as she can't wait to feel him come inside of her, she also never wants it to happen.

"Alex… stay with me here." She looks in his eyes to find his looking deep inside of her. "I need to see your eyes when…" His words trail off as he focuses on keeping his thrusts slow. He's trying his best to draw this out as much as he can.

"I'm here, Bobby…I'm right here with you."

She's never seen the lusty look that he has right then. Then he lowers his lips onto hers and kisses her like she's never been kissed before. His tongue is soft but possessive because he knows it's the last time he's going to have a chance to kiss her like that. She knows it too, so she holds his head with both hands to keep him there as long as possible.

Finally, they break the kiss and when they do, she runs her hands up and down his back.

He feels on the brink of his orgasm; he can no longer hold it back. He shudders vigorously, and she lays her hands flat against his back to feel as much of him as she can. When his release is finished he exhales loudly. He didn't take his eyes off of her the whole time.

"I'll never forget this, Alex…I'll never forget you…and us," He says after he comes. Making love to her was better than he had ever imagined it would be. His wildest dreams didn't hold a candle to the real thing. He continues watching her but he can't seem to read her thoughts.

Then he sees tears streaming from her eyes and he can't help it when his own tears start to fall.

He quickly buries his face in her neck to hide his emotions. He feels her shaking and knows she's trying to not cry harder than she is. He goes to roll off of her but she holds him in place. "Not yet…please."

Still deep in side of her, he settles himself back down. She runs her hands along his arms, down his back, over his ass; unwilling to let the moment go. When she feels she can speak without crying, she tries to convey her feelings to him, "You have no idea what this meant to me, Bobby."

He lets out a soft laugh, "Actually, I think I do because I've always wanted you." He kisses her shoulder. After a few quiet minutes, he says, "Alex…"

She takes a deep breath and tries to sound strong, "I know…it's time…you want to leave." Her voice cracks.

He looks right at her, "It's not that I want to…it's that I have to."

Her anger flares, "You don't have to, Bobby…You're the only one who thinks you need to go."

"Let's not get into this…let's not fight right now."

Her eyes well up again and her anger is building. "Fine." She pushes a little on his shoulders, he takes that as a sign to get up so he slides out of her and sits up.

Now her tears really start. She doesn't know what she feels more, sadness or anger. She thinks that maybe the anger is how she's allowing herself to let him leave.

She doesn't watch him get dressed. Instead, she rolls onto her side, putting her back to him. He watches her do this and feels himself crumble inside. He's never felt such pain in his life.

"Are you wishing this never happened?"

She keeps her back to him as she answers him, "I'll never wish that."

He stands before the bed, "Please turn around, Eames."

She shakes her head, "I can't watch you leave."

He stares at her back for a good minute before he can make the words come out, "Goodbye, Alex."

A small, high pitch sound escapes her, betraying the fact that she's falling apart. He waits until she says something, "Goodbye, Bobby."

Ten minutes later, she's able to say one more thing, "I'll never forget you."

She says it to an empty room.

--

**Tbc…**


	6. Chapter 6

--

Bobby leaves Alex's house and goes straight over to see Mike. Mike takes one look at his friend and knows exactly what went down.

"Bobby, man…you look like hell."

Bobby took a few steps into Mikes apartment but doesn't go any further.

Mike turns and sees his friend still standing by the door. "C'mon in…sit down and have a drink with me…it sure looks like you could use one."

Bobby shakes his head, "I'm not staying Mike, I came here to say goodbye."

"For good?"

"Yeah." Bobby slips his cell phone out of his pocket and hands it to Mike. "I don't care what you do with it, I don't need it anymore."

Mike looks concerned. "Can I have your new number?"

"No. I'm leaving and I'm not looking back…I'm starting over somewhere else and I don't want anyone from this life contacting me."

"Bobby, are you okay?" Mike hesitates before asking the next part of his question, "You went to see her, right?"

Bobby feels like he's been stabbed in the gut at the mere mention of Alex. He nods his head.

"That bad, huh?" Mike can see how much pain his friend is in.

"It was as bad as I thought it would be. We did something really stupid." Mike gives Bobby a questioning look and Bobby nods his head in response. "And now that I've had her…I don't want to leave."

"Then don't, man! Stay…no one is forcing you to go anywhere."

Bobby looks down at his feet as he answers him, "I have to…for her…I'm not going to be able to give her the happiness…the life…that she deserves."

Mike takes a deep breath and exhales sharply, "Alex is a great girl and she clearly loves you, you're stupid to be going anywhere without her."

He ignores his friend's advice, "Take care, Mike." Bobby extends his hand and Mike looks at it.

"You, too, Buddy." Feeling defeated, Mike shakes his hand then watches his friend walk away.

--

Six weeks later, Alex wakes up and can't make it to the bathroom fast enough.

She's doubled over her toilet, but she's never been happier in her life. For the first time since Bobby left, she feels like her life may actually go on. And it will…with their child.

She buys a pregnancy test just to be sure, but she already knows the results. She's been through this before, she knows how it feels for her.

Alex sits on her bed and stares at the stick as the second blue line begins to appear. She falls back onto her pillow and now doesn't know whether she should laugh or cry. She wanted this to happen, she searched him out and used Mike and his big mouth to do draw Bobby out of hiding. She seduced him when he finally showed up; she knew exactly what she was doing and yet now she feels scared. Scared because now that her dream is a reality, she's afraid of what his reaction will be once she finds him and tells him…if she finds him.

She's fully prepared to raise the baby alone. She'd been thinking of being artificially inseminated; of becoming a single mom no matter who the father was so she's not counting on him for any type of support. But if she had it, being a mother would be that much more fulfilling.

She looks at the stick again and smiles.

"Time get my life in order, " She says out loud.

--

After she sees her doctor and confirms her pregnancy, she decides it's best that she try to find him and tell him he's going to be a father, she knows she owes him that. She remembers some comments that he had made over the years, and she believes that despite his family's problems, he's privately longed for a child of his own.

The thought of seeing him again makes Alex happier than she's been in several weeks.

The next day she goes to see Mike.

He opens the door and she sees him looking at her with pity. She then knows that Bobby spoke to him about what happened between them.

"You can save your pity, Mike…I'm only hear to find out where he is."

He opens the door wider and she sweeps past him, then turns around once she made it into the living room.

"He's gone, Alex…I have no idea where he is."

"I know he's gone, but I'm sure he told you where he was going."

He shakes his head, "He didn't."

"Well then you have his cell phone number."

He goes over to the small table in his entrance hall and picks up Bobby's phone. "He left this for me and he said he doesn't need it anymore, and that he doesn't want anyone from this life to contact him."

She stares at the phone then looks at Mike, "He didn't mean me."

"He especially meant you." He sees her flinch at his words and he immediately feels bad so he tries to soften the blow, "Alex…he truly believes that he's doing the best things for you by leaving…I'm sorry but he's not coming back."

She closes her eyes and hangs her head low before looking back up, "Just do me a favor, Mike. If he does contact you, please tell him that I need to speak to him…That's all I need."

"Okay, Eames, I will but I don't think I'm ever gonna hear from him again."

She walks to the door as she speaks over her shoulder, "Just remember what I said…thanks, Mike."

Her next stop was to Lewis' Autobody.

--

"Detective Alex." She hears the sadness in his voice so she knows that Bobby said goodbye to him as well.

"Hey Lewis, I'm sorry to bother you while you're working."

"It's never a bother to see you, Detective…I know why you're here and I'm sorry that I can't help you."

"Can't or won't?" She feels her patience wearing thin.

"Can't. When Bobby said goodbye, he said he's never coming back, and he said he wasn't leaving anyone his forwarding information…even me."

She glances at the car he's working on, "My old man used to have an Impala just like that one." He smiles at her, "I'm glad you can appreciate it. It's a great car."

"It sure is, " she says softly. "Listen…if you hear from him, please tell him it's urgent that I speak with him…that I only need to tell him something."

"Will do, detective Alex, but I don't think I'm ever going to hear from him again."

She nods her head, "Thank you, Lewis. Take care of yourself."

"Feel free to come by anytime, my door is always open for you, detective!"

She can't help but smile at him as she walks away.

--

One Police Plaza was the last place Alex wanted to be, but she was hell bent on finding Bobby and she was hoping that they would be able to give her his forwarding address. She kept her head down and went straight for the payroll department.

"Hi Tina, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you have the new address for Goren."

Tina gives her a questioning look, "Why don't you have it?"

"I did, but my computer crashed and I lost all my addresses and phone numbers." She didn't feel the least bit bad lying to Tina.

"Oh geez, that's terrible." Tina begins typing then gets a confused look on her face. "Says here that we don't have a new address, we still have the PO Box that we've always had."

"So then how does he get his pension checks?"

"It's direct deposited."

"How about his paystubs or his W-2, how does he get those?"

"He chose the option to view his payroll and retirement records by accessing the system via the internet rather than getting them mailed to him."

Alex nods her head, "Oh yeah. I forgot about that option." Then she thought for a moment, "How about a phone number?"

Tina looks at the screen again and shakes her head, "No phone number listed."

Disappointment settles into Eames, "Alright, Tina, thanks for trying to help me."

"No problem, Alex. I hope you find him!"

_You and me both, Tina. You and me both_, she thinks to herself.

"Thanks, Tina." Alex finds her way into the elevator and leaves One PP without being seen by anyone else.

--

On her way back home she has a thought. "His post office box," she says out loud, then head to Brooklyn.

She has to circle the block a couple of times before she finds a parking spot. Once she does she heads inside the post office and waits her turn in line. After a few minutes, she's called to the window.

"Hi," she flashes her retiree badge, she figured it couldn't hurt to do so, "I was hoping you could help me. My former partner moved away and I've misplaced his new address. He has a PO box here, and I was wondering if you could tell me what his forwarding address is."

The lady on the other side of the counter just shakes her head, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I can't give out that information."

Alex feels herself coming undone, "C'mon…I really need your help. His name is Robert Goren, and he was box 152."

"Oh, Mr. Goren…I know him, he's a nice guy." Alex gives her a sad smile. The woman can see Alex's anguish and feels badly for her. She looks around her to make sure no one is listening, then leans closer to Alex and speaks in a low voice, "If he left a forwarding address, I wouldn't be able to tell you…but I can tell you that he didn't leave one. All he did was close this box down."

Alex can't help but stare at the woman as she tries to comprehend what she just heard. "So…if someone sends him a letter…"

"It will get returned to the sender marked 'no forwarding address'."

She rubs her hands over her face, "Alright…thanks."

Later that day, she walks into her house feeling completely defeated. She misses him so much, and she wants nothing more than to be able to share this news with Bobby but she can't. He's gone, really gone.

As if she's on autopilot, she heads straight for her room. She climbs into her bed, holds onto an extra pillow for dear life, and cries all night long.

--

The light of day brings an awakening of sorts for Alex. Her crying jag served her well; it was both soothing and cathartic. She had a long time to think about Bobby and her life, and she realizes that she has to do her best to keep moving herself forward because living in the past is only going to cause her pain and misery. As she sits at her kitchen table, Alex decides it's time to move on and that means making big changes.

Over the next few weeks, she focuses on changing her life. She puts her home on the market, and looks for a job outside of the city. Raising a child alone will be tough, so she decides to move closer to her sister, Kim, who lives in Hartsdale, New York. Kim is a stay at home mom who's offered to watch Alex's baby full time. Alex knows it's an offer that's too good to refuse, so she starts to look for a job in New York State and western Connecticut.

It doesn't take her long to find what she thinks is the perfect job for her. It's with a large credit card company that has it's headquarters in Westchester County, New York. She will be part of their Fraud Investigation Unit. Alex knows it's not the most exciting position in the world, but both the pay and benefits are excellent. Also, they are so impressed with her background that they are more than happy to hire her - despite her pregnancy - so once she finds a place to live in Hartsdale, she leaves Queens for good.

Kim and the rest of her family have all taken turns asking her about her baby. It seems that no one believes that she had a procedure done; they are all of the mindset that Alex knows exactly who the father of her baby is. Several family members have taken turns grilling her on the subject, but she always sticks to her story. Once Alex is settled into her new home and job, she asks Kim to be her birthing coach. Kim is, of course, thrilled to be able to help her sister. Alex begins to bring Kim to her doctor visits, and the two sisters bond over the upcoming delivery.

A few months into living her new life, Alex starts to feel relaxed. Her job is steady and interesting, and she's meeting new people in her neighborhood and community. She still thinks of Bobby every day, but now when she does she doesn't feel that awful pain in her chest like she used to. Now the memories comfort her, and when she thinks of him, she can't help but rub her belly. She wonders what their baby will look like, and if he or she will have any of Bobby's traits that she loved so much. She thinks of this baby as an absolute blessing from God; that everyday of her life she's going to have a part of Bobby with her.

Just as she's finally feeling settled and content...something happens that turns her new life upside down.

--

**TBC**...


	7. Chapter 7

--

Alex is seven months pregnant, but no matter how tired or huge she feels, she's determined to get this latest case wrapped up. She believes she's uncovered a ring of credit card thieves. She's been following a number of card thefts and fraudulent transactions for several weeks, and the believes she's uncovered a very large illegal operation. Her notes on the case are impeccable, and her presentation regarding the operation is so complete that her boss feels they need to take the investigation to another level; they need to bring in the FBI since the ring encompasses interstate commerce.

She's been in front of the FBI before, but never seven month's pregnant, so she feels a little nervous and self-conscious about the impending meeting. She chose a pair of black slacks to go with her favorite dark brown, long sleeved blouse. She and her fraud team are waiting in the conference room when their secretary pokes her head in to say that the two FBI agents had arrived.

Alex looks up from her notes to see a young, female FBI agent walk through the door, followed by Bobby Goren.

Her jaw falls open and her heart begins to race as their eyes meet. The other agent introduces Goren and herself to the others in the room, and as she makes her way around the table to Alex, she sees that the woman sitting before her looks as though she's seen a ghost. What's more surprising to the young agent was that when she turns to her partner, he has the exact same look on his face.

"I take it you two know each other?" Agent Sullivan couldn't help but ask.

Realizing she was waiting for an answer, Bobby finally found his voice, "Uh...yeah...actually we - we used to work together."

Agent Sullivan turns to Alex. Clearing her throat, Alex somehow manages to regain her composure, "I'm sorry…Agent Sullivan? I'm Alex Eames, it's nice to finally meet you after all of our phone conversations." The two women shake hands. "Special Agent Jane Sullivan...nice to meet you, too, Alex."

Then Alex looks back at Bobby, "It's nice to see you again, Bobby." She remains seated, unsure of how to deal with the scene that is sure to unfold just as soon as she stands up to make her presentation.

He extends his hand to her. "You - you too, Alex." She never thought she'd have the chance to touch him again, but here they are. The electricity in their handshake is evident to both of them.

Then Sullivan continues, "So you're NYPD like my partner here?"

"Was...was NYPD." Alex corrects without looking at Bobby, who moved to the other side of the room and took one of the two empty seats at the opposite end of the table.

Then Sullivan looks down at Alex's stomach, "In all our phone conversations you never mentioned you were pregnant...congratulations!"

Alex smiles an uncomfortable smile. "No...I guess I hadn't. Thank you."

"How far along are you?"

She holds her breath while she replies, wondering how long it would take Bobby to put two and two together. "About seven months." She smiles awkwardly at the agent.

Alex's boss clears his throat, signaling the meeting to begin.

"Alex, I'll speak to you again after you present your information." Both women nod and then Sullivan goes to join Bobby at the other side of the table. Once she is seated, Alex's boss began to speak.

"Thank you both for joining us, we feel that the information Ms. Eames and her team have been able to uncover will be very beneficial to the FBI. So, without further adieu, Alex...will you please begin your presentation."

All eyes were upon her as she took a deep breath. She pushes herself away from the table and slowly stands up.

Bobby watches her as she stand and he can't believe his eyes when he sees a very pregnant Alex stand and begin to speak. He's shocked, his first thought is that she must have found someone new; she'd gotten married and is starting a family. He thought he'd have to excuse himself from the room because he was certain he was going to vomit.

His eyes dart to her left hand; no ring.

As she speaks, he looks at her face again; trying to pay attention to what she's saying but all he can do is to think about her and the fact that she's pregnant.

He leans closer to Sullivan and whispers to her, "Did she tell you how far along she is?"

Sullivan quietly replies back, "Yes, she's seven months. I'm surprised you two didn't keep in touch, she seems great."

"Mmmm. She is great." He decides not to reply to her other comment and leaves his response at that.

He gets lost in his head, trying to come to grips with the fact that Alex had found someone new so quickly. _Seven months…geez…she didn't waste any time. She must have met someone right after I moved away because that's been…what…_ then he calculated how long it's been since he left.

That's when it hit him.

--

He's certain she gave one hell of a presentation, he wouldn't expect anything less from her, but he didn't hear a word of it. All he could do was sit and wonder. _Is she carrying our child?_ That thought enveloped him the whole time.

Somehow, Alex effortlessly works though her presentation. When she's done, she opens the floor to questions. Agent Sullivan had plenty of questions, but not Bobby. She knows he must have put it all together and that he's preoccupied with her pregnancy because it's so unlike him to not have comments or questions.

When they finally make eye contact, Alex doesn't like what she sees. He looks dismayed and angry. That's when she got angry, herself. _How dare he look at me like that?_

Somehow Alex is able to focus enough to answer Sullivan's questions. But as soon as the meeting is over, Alex gets up and leaves the room.

--

He watches her leave and considers going after her, but knows he can't just jump up from the table. The rest of her team, and her boss, come over to Goren and Sullivan and shake hands, thanking the agents for coming.

The room clears out, leaving Goren and Sullivan to organize their notes. She surprises him by what she says to him.

"So…this must have been quite a shock to you."

He raises his eyebrows. "Pardon?"

"Seeing Alex, pregnant…with your child."

Now his eyes grow wide and his jaw drops, "How…how did you…"

"C'mon, Goren…give me some credit! You came to the FBI seven months ago and she's seven months pregnant. And the way you two looked at each other…Trust me, I've NEVER looked at a former partner, or anyone else, like that."

Bobby sits back in his chair, a little stunned.

"I take it this is the first time you've seen her since…"

"Yeah", he says as he nods his head a little.

Now Sullivan gets the whole picture. It was a one night stand before he left, but she doesn't know why they severed ties. She was dying to know but didn't feel it was her place to ask. So instead, she tries to help him with what to do next.

"You're gonna go find her, right?" She wanted to throw in the word 'idiot' but she thought that might have been pushing it.

"You - you think I should? Here?"

She lets out a sigh of frustration. "Well…where else are you going to see her? And you have to see her, Goren."

Bobby looks at the doorway. Nodding his head he jumps up, grabs his coat and binder and goes in search of Alex. He asks someone where her office is and he's led to a closed door. He knocks on it but there's no answer. He looks up and down the hallway and when he sees no one around he tries the door knob; it's unlocked. He opens the door a tiny bit and calls her name.

He doesn't get an answer so he pushes the door wider and pokes his head into the office. He glances around the room, and his eyes stop roaming when he sees an envelope propped upright on the desk. His name is emblazoned in large letters across it.

"Alex? You in here?" He calls to her again just to be sure he's alone in the room, then he cautiously makes his way to her desk. With slightly shaking hands he opens the letter.

_Bobby,_

_I had to leave because I knew I couldn't handle the possibility seeing you walk away from me again. _

_You left me seven months ago, and you planned on never seeing me again. I'm not going to assume that me being pregnant will change that. While I want you to be a part of our lives, I've prepared myself for going this alone. Just know that no matter what you decide to do, I love you and I always will._

_You know my number, and my address is 17 Valley Road in Hartsdale._

_The next move is up to you._

_Alex_

He turns around and leans his butt against her desk as he reads the letter a few more times.

Once he's back in the car, he tells Sullivan that he'll drive her to the airport but he'll catch a later flight if he doesn't make it back in time. Sullivan doesn't ask him what happened, she knows it's not her place, but before he drops her at Westchester Airport she does say, "I'm glad you two are talking about this." Then she smiles weakly at him as she closes the door and he speeds away.

--

Alex hears her doorbell and feels like she's going to be sick. She knows that this conversation will either make or break them for good. She opens the door for him and lets him in without saying a word.

He follows her through her living room and kitchen, and watches her settle in on a couch in a family room that's attached to the kitchen. "Nice place, Alex". He really does like the house but he says it more to break the ice.

"Thank you." She says rather coolly, then looks at him, "I'm surprised you showed up."

He can see the anger in her eyes, he's sure she can see the same in his. He decides to jump right into the conversation with both feet. "I wish I new about this sooner." His harsh tone equals hers.

Her eyes popped open at his words. _How dare he?! "_You don't think I tried to find you? I tried everything I could think of! I went to Mike, to Lewis, to One PP, hell I even went to the post office and badged them, hoping I could bully them into getting your forwarding address. After that, I accepted what you told me, you didn't want to have anything to do with me. So instead of lying around feeling sorry for myself, I decided that I needed to change my life, too."

He raises one eye brow, "See…you wouldn't have done that if I was still around."

"I said changed my life, I didn't say I made it better." She stands up and he follows suit. She leads him into the kitchen then leans against a counter. He stands in front of her. "Bobby, your walking away from me was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, …ever." She paused, making sure he understood the implication of her words; losing Joe wasn't as bad as losing him. "I've been able to keep going only because of this," she rubbed her belly then she took a step closer to him, "I miss you, Bobby…I'm miserable without you."

He backs away from her and puts his hands up as if he's fending her off. He still has questions he needs answered.

"You did this on purpose…you weren't on the pill…you wanted to trap me?" She could hear his anger building. She tries her best to calm down. She needs to get everything out in the open.

"I wasn't planning on trapping you but I'll admit that I wasn't thinking clearly. When I couldn't find you and Mike told me you were gone, I was devastated. All I wanted was to see you…I thought that if I could get you to come out of hiding and I was able to tell you…to show you how I felt about you… than maybe you would want to stay because you knew that I loved you. But then you did come to me and you were still adamant about leaving, even while we were making love… I just panicked. I wanted you…I wanted you to stay so badly, and when you insisted on leaving, I decided right then and there that if I did get pregnant, at least I'd have a part of you with me. I definitely set out to seduce you, but I did not set out to trick you into impregnating me, not using a condom was a split second decision."

Bobby listens to her intently, and when she finishes he begins to pace.

"Listen, Bobby…I know this is a lot of information for you to take in. I've had seven months to come to terms with it. I'll understand if you need to take some time - "

"You're right, I do need time." He moves to the door, opens it and turns around. "I'll call you."

"Bobby…wait."

His anger is beginning to boil over, he turns back to her quickly.

"I need to say this… If the only thing you're planning on doing is sending a check every month, don't…keep your money…I don't need it. But if you want a chance to be a part of your child's life, we'll find a way to do that without forcing you to be a part of mine."

"Alex, it's not necessary to think like that."

"I can't help but feel that way. You haven't given me any reason to think otherwise." Then she lowered her voice, "You hurt me, Bobby. You really hurt me."

He feels like she plunged a knife deep into his heart. "But I left -"

"Don't say it! Don't you dare say you left so I could have a happy life. I made it perfectly clear that you leaving would not make me happy and you did it anyway."

"Alex, listen -"

She cuts him off again, " There's something I need to know, Bobby…if I wasn't pregnant, would you be standing here talking to me…Or would you have left that meeting without saying goodbye?"

He doesn't say another word because he can tell she's becoming just as stubborn as he's been, instead he turns and heads out the door.

As she watches him drive away she feels her heart break a little more.

--

**TBC…**


	8. Chapter 8

--

Alex's phone rings a few nights later and when she sees an unknown number she becomes hopeful it's him.

"Hello?"

He pauses, "It's me."

"Hey." She says softly. She knows that they left things badly so she wants to let him know right away that she's happy he's calling her.

"I'm sorry I walked out…again."

"It's okay, I'm getting used to it." She snarks and then immediately feels badly, "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said that."

"I deserved it, it's alright."

Silence.

Then, "I called to see how you're feeling. You know…how the pregnancy has been, I never asked you the other day."

_Be patient, Alex. He's trying_. "It's been really good. I had some morning sickness early on, but over all I've felt a lot better than when I was pregnant with Nate." She chuckles a little bit before continuing, "I figured it's either a girl, or I don't feel so queasy because I'm not watching you poke dead people's eyeballs everyday."

He laughs out loud, "Yeah…I really didn't give you much leeway back then." Their laughter falls away and she waits for him to say something.

Sensing the ball is in his court, he asks, "Would - would it be alright if I called again to-to check on you?"

Her insides tighten up. "Just call?"

He can hear that he's hurt her. "Um, well, if I have work in New York, I'd also like to come by, now - now that I know where you live."

"So…you'll stop in only when it's convenient?" She puts more bite in her voice than she intends to, so she tries to overcome it, "You can come to see me anytime you want, Bobby. And for that matter, I'd come to see you if you'd like."

"I'm sorry, I realized I never gave you my new info. But you have my number now."

She speaks even softer, "It's a good start…right?"

"Alex…I still need time to come to grip with all of this."

The familiar pain in her heart is back. He's doing the same thing. "You know what Bobby, take all the time you need."

"Please don't be upset."

"I can't have this conversation with you again. How about I'll text you when I have the baby. Then you can decide what you want to do with that information."

"Alex, please!"

"Bobby, stop! I can not let you keep doing this to me. I meant what I said, I'll let you know when the baby is born and you do what you want. I can't keep hoping you'll be a part of our lives. I'm perfectly willing to raise this baby alone, but if you want something different, the next move is yours."

"Alex - "

She's holding back her tears as best that she can but he hears it in her voice anyway, "I love you, Bobby. And every night I pray that you'll chose to be with us, but I can't force you. It's all up to you now, and if you don't show up after the baby's born, I'll know you've made your decision."

With that she hangs up the phone. When he calls her back, she lets it go into voice mail.

--

The next contact she has with him is seven weeks later. She texts him: "You have a son. We're at White Plains Hospital if you want to meet him."

She puts her phone down and cries. The labor was intense due to the size of the baby. She's sore and overwhelmed with emotion. She delivered early in the morning, after a long night of labor.

Kim watches as Alex sends the text. "Do you think he'll come?" Alex just shrugs her shoulders and continues crying while she holds her son in her arms.

Her family stays with her until mid-afternoon to give her support, but now they're gone so she can alone with the baby. After some time alone with her son she feels just how tired she really is. She tries to sleep but can't with the baby in the room so she asks that he be brought to the nursery for a little while so she could sleep.

Meanwhile…

Bobby reads the text and feels like the wind is knocked out of him. "I have a son…we have a son." He says aloud to no one. He stares at the text for a long time. He thinks of Alex, sitting in a hospital room holding their baby. Then he gets up and grabs his coat, he knows what he needs to do.

--

Bobby is given Alex's room number at the front desk. He anxiously rides the elevator to the fifth floor then follows the directions on the pre-printed piece of paper he holds in his shaking hand. Her door is closed so he goes to the nurses station, "I'm here to see Alex Eames in room 512, but her door is closed…I don't want to disturb her."

The nurse nods, "Yes, Ms. Eames is taking a nap."

"Oh." His disappointment shows all over his face.

"But," The nurse says with helpful cheer, "you can see her baby! He's down in the nursery." She points down the hall toward the room that holds his son.

He brightens back up. "I'd like that…thank you." Without hesitation, he turns to find the nursery.

There were six or seven babies in the room, but the minute he sees a long bundle of boy with dark brown curls his heart almost stops. He knows who it is. Then he reads the cardboard sign taped above him, 'baby boy Eames'. He places a hand on the glass and laughs to himself as he studies his son.

She finds him in the same position when she comes to get the baby a short time later.

"Would you like to hold him?"

Her voice startles him, "Alex…I, uh, the nurse said you were sleeping so I didn't want to disturb you, uh…" he nervously loses his train of thought, "congratulations."

She stands along side of him and stares into the nursery and he follows suit. After a minute she speaks to him but continues to look at their son. "I had him brought down here for a little while so I could take a nap, but then I missed him, so I came to get him."

Bobby doesn't reply right away because he has no idea what to say. Finally he asks, "What did you name him?" His voice is soft and gentle.

"Matthew. Matthew Robert."

He shoots her a quick look of surprise at his middle name, then looks back at the baby. "Matthew…that's a great name…it means 'a gift of God'."

She shakes her head and can't help but smile at him. "How on Earth did you know that?"

He smiles back at her but doesn't answer. Then they return their gazes to the nursery because it seems it's easier for them to communicate as they stare at their son.

"My family was pretty pissed at you."

The only thing that saves him from running out the door in fear is the familiar snark that he hears in her voice.

"Was?"

"Oh, yeah. They were all a little shocked. Kim was my birthing coach, and the second I had him she took one look at him and then she turned to me with these huge eyes. At first I thought something was wrong, but as soon as I saw him…I knew what had her so freaked out… and then I knew that the cat was out of the bag. He looks exactly like you, Bobby. There's no hiding who his father is any more."

He couldn't help but swell with pride. He thought Matthew looked like him, too, but he wasn't sure if anyone else saw it. "So you hadn't told anyone…about us."

"No, I told everyone that I was artificially inseminated. I know they didn't really buy it, but that's what I went with…but after he was born, my dad took one look at him and muttered, 'I'll kill him'." Bobby couldn't help but wince as Alex continues, "But I told my dad that you had no idea I was pregnant. I embellished a little…and said we used protection but it didn't work, and that once I found out I was pregnant, I tried to locate you but I couldn't. I also told him that I was sure if you knew about the baby, that you'd be supporting me but you just didn't know."

"And you didn't tell your family the truth even after we saw each other at your office?"

She answered him honestly, "I didn't see the point. I had no idea what you plans were…I still don't."

"So should I start wearing my vest twenty-four seven?"

She gave him a quick grin, "He understands the situation. You'll be fine."

Silence falls over them again as a grandmother comes and stands by them, tapping on the nursery window and smiling proudly at her new granddaughter.

Once the older woman walks away, Alex continues, "So…I never got your answer…would you like to hold him?"

Bobby looks from Alex to Matthew and then back to Alex. "I would if it's okay."

She keeps her eyes locked with his, "Of course it's okay…you're his father." With that, Alex knocks on the nursery door and motions to the nurse. The nurse gets Matthew's bassinet and wheels it along side of Bobby and Alex as they make their way to Alex's room.

Once they get to her room, the nurse turns to Bobby, "I can't get over how much your son looks like you…congratulations."

He can't help the large smile that spreads across his face. "Thank you." Alex could hear the pride in his voice and it makes her smile, too.

The nurse leaves, then Alex turns to Bobby. "Why don't you wash your hands in my bathroom. We'll wait right here." He nods at her and does as he's told. Inside the bathroom, Bobby looks around and sees lots of pads piled up, and a water bottle that he's not too sure what it's exactly for, but assumes it has something to do with an episiotomy. He thinks about her delivery and how hard it must have been for her, and that she went through it all without him. Sadness washes over him. _I've missed so much by being a stubborn ass. _ He also knows that Alex has missed a lot as well. She deserved to have him with her but even after he knew she was having their baby, he still stayed away. And why? Why did he put himself, and Alex, through that pain? He looks at himself in the mirror and shakes his head. _Idiot_. He decides he done with being an idiot, he knows that sitting out in that hospital room is the only person who ever truly loved him and he threw that love away. Now she's waiting for him, holding his son. He dries his hands and goes out to hold their child for the first time.

When he comes out of the bathroom, Alex is sitting on the edge of the bed with Matthew in her arms. "Have a seat." She motions toward the chair that was next to her. Bobby sits down and Alex gets up and places Matthew in Bobby's arms.

"I haven't held a baby since Nate…I hope I remember what to do." He says as she comes toward him. "You'll do great…I know you will." As Alex hands Matthew to Bobby, Bobby's eyes are glued to the baby. He looks at his son and feels tears start to form. "He's beautiful, Alex." His voice cracks with emotion as a few tears roll down his face. She watches Bobby as he gently runs one finger across Matthew's forehead and then down his cheek. He looks at the baby's soft dark brown curls and his long fingers, "Look at him! He's perfect." Tears fall from Alex's eyes as she replies, "Of course he's perfect…he's ours, Bobby."

Bobby looks at her, then rises from the chair. He leans over and gives Alex a soft quick kiss on the lips, "And he has the most beautiful mother in the world." Then he sits down next to her on the bed. Alex leans her head on his shoulder. "I love you, Bobby."

Bobby is overwhelmed with joy. He's never known such pure happiness. "I love you, too, Alex."

"I'll never forget the night he was conceived." She whispers to him, her tears are now falling in earnest.

He turns and kisses the top of her head, "Me, too. I think about it every night as I go to sleep."

She sniffles loudly and he laughs at the sound, "Me, too."

"Alex…" His voice is husky as he tries to talk through his own tears. "What you told your dad, about me supporting you…It's true…I want to be apart of your life…if you'll let me."

She lifts her head from his shoulder and looks at him. "As long as you're doing it for the right reason."

"What would that be?"

"You tell me…tell me why you want to be with us."

He takes one hand and runs it through her hair and then holds it to Alex's cheek. "I want to be here because it's where I belong."

She looks at him and sighs before she leans toward him. She wraps one hand around his neck while the other rests on his arm, and she pulls him into a sensual kiss. Their tongues dance together, both relinquishing themselves to the kiss. They only separate when Matthew squeaks out the beginning of a cry. They laugh as she looks at their baby, "I think he's getting hungry."

"Are you nursing him?"

"Yeah."

He smiles at her, "Then here…lie down and I'll give him to you when you're ready." He stands up and waits while she gets into bed and props her pillows up. Once she's settled in, he hands her the baby and watches her as she unbuttons her top then gets him to latch on.

Bobby sits back and watches her in amazement. She gives him a questioning look. He shakes his head a little before he speaks, "I'm so sorry, Alex…I'm so sorry for ever leaving you. I can't believe I almost missed out on this…on you…and Matthew…and on us." Then he hesitates shyly, "Is there still an 'us'?"

Alex looks at the baby, then back at Bobby and gives him a soft smile, "There's most definitely still an us."

--

**The End**

**Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2010 is good to all of you.**


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